I had NO idea what kind of trouble I was getting myself into when I fell in love with a Jewish man. Me, a 27 year old, born and raised Catholic girl who went to a Catholic School her whole life and never even met a Jewish person (until 2008, THANKS to a very special friend of mine lol)! Anyway, we thought Immigration was gonna be the problem. WE WERE SO WRONG!!! The Church is giving us such a hard time!!! Let's start from the beginning...
I was active in my religion until I got accepted in College, after that, I REALLY didn't have much time to go to the Church (full time classes + internship at a hospital). I SWEAR I didn't have time, I didn't even had time to study or even see my boyfriend at that time. Anyway, after that I only went (and still go) to Church on special occasions (weddings, communions, baptisms, Christmas) but I do celebrate all Catholic holidays. My husband on the other hand, was never active in his faith. No temples, no holidays, no nothing.
So, for that end, we have decided to get married at the Catholic Church. I thought it would be a lot easier after we've decided which religion to "follow". WRONG AGAIN!!!
I have researched every single Catholic Church web site, Archdiocese and Youth Centers in the Tristate area, I've been to nearly 15 Churches and spoke to about 20 Priests and secretaries and only 2 people were able to "kinda" help us.
We've been told we will need for the Catholic part: Recent Baptism Certificate, Recent Confirmation Certificate, Letter Of Freedom from the Parish, Display Of Cult and Pre-Cana. For the Jewish Part, as he doesn't have either certificate, he'll need the Letter Of Freedom, the Display of Cult, the Pre-Cana AND an authorization from a Bishop to be able to get married in a Catholic Church.
Now, the problems we are having is only because as I don't attend to Church masses, I'm "technically" not considered in ANY parish. Apparently the Priest in charge of "my Parish" has the MORAL OBLIGATION to prepare my husband and I for our "upcoming marriage" and no one is willing to take us and help us with the paperwork. Which means we are still looking for a GOOD SOUL who will help us with the Catholic Church paperwork.
The Pre-Cana is a whole other story. Usually pretty expensive ($400-$600) and it's not very useful for people who are already in a long relationship (which is our case, almost 3 years). It can last from 1 to 15 days, it all depends if the Priest thinks you are ready to be married or not (worst case scenario, if he thinks you're not, sorry but you won't be getting married in a Catholic Church). These classes are pretty on demand and you need to start looking about a year before the "Big Day". We settled for the Pre-Cana from the "Church Of Our Savior" (on Park Av. we spoke with Peter McFadden (646) 341-0848 and it costs $250 for the classes only) and we will be starting our classes in april. even though we are very excited with the wedding prep and everything, we are still very worried about all the problems with the Church, we still have NO paperwork and NO ONE to help. I spoke with Father Joel (St. Patrick's Church) and Father George (St. James Church) but neither of them could "take" us as parish members and sent us to the Archdiocese. We were NOT well received there but I will try a second time this week and I also will try St. Raphael's Church, which is the last Church on my list, we've been to all others already.
Shouldn't they be happy my husband already agreed on having our future children baptized? Shouldn't they be happy he is putting his religion aside so I can have my dream wedding? Shouldn't they be happy we will raise our children Catholic? Shouldn't they be happy that even though he is Jewish, we still celebrate ALL Catholic holidays and NOT EVEN ONE Jewish? Maybe that's just me but, shouldn't they be JUST HAPPY FOR US? Hopefully, I'll come back with better news next week :(
PS: If you're getting married and you're also in a mixed-faith relationship, there are some very important DETAILS you should know. *Your partner does NOT need to be baptized. *There's NO need to convert. *You CANNOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE have both CATHOLIC & JEWISH ceremony at a church. You CAN however, have your wedding elsewhere and only then have BOTH a PRIEST and a RABI present to bless your union. *Ask for the letters and authorizations I mentioned before and you should be fine to marry WHOEVER you want, WHEREVER you please.
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